


I can’t stop thinking about you (no matter how hard I try not to)

by vegaslights



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, CEO!Junmyeon, M/M, model!jongin, will add tags along the way lol
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 07:07:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27179669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vegaslights/pseuds/vegaslights
Summary: Jongin, better known as Kai is a world-renowned model and dancer. After living in the US for the past 2 years, he finally comes back home to South Korea. What if the one who's keeping his head occupied suddenly crosses his path?
Relationships: Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Kim Jongin | Kai
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	1. 하나

Jongin's world is a flurry of flashes, fittings, runway rehearsals and magazine shoots. This has been his scene since moving to New York City 2 years ago when he got signed under a big shot modeling agency, leaving behind his life back in South Korea.

He was already a famous model in South Korea, already featuring in local magazines and being offered brand deals. He's known but he can still have some peace and quiet while walking around his neighborhood in Cheongdam without being recognized. He can hang out in cafes and go to places with his friends without worry of the public eye watching his every move. Heck, he can even busk sometimes with his dance crew whenever his schedule permits it.

It was hectic, but it was way calmer, easier and happier compared to his life in NYC now.

It was less lonely too.

He has his family back in South Korea, his parents, his older sisters, his niece and nephews, and 8 friends that he can call his brothers. In New York, he only has his manager and a few colleagues that he made friends with. But it's nothing compared to the warmth that the people he left behind gives him. He still keeps in contact with them, he calls his parents often but he rarely is able to contact his friends. He has the occasional phone call with Junmyeon and his friend catches him up on what's happening back in Korea.

"Junmyeon Hyung! Its been a while! How are you?"

"I'm good Jongin-ah! The company is keeping me busy as always. How's NYC treating you since I last called huh, supermodel?

"Same old, same old, you know. Shoots, fittings, rehearsals, sleep and repeat. Been quite busy since New York Fashion Week is in a few days, and I also have to fly to Paris for Paris Fashion Week after. I'm tired but I can manage. Anyways, how are you and the guys?"

"Well, SM is doing well, Jongdae just dropped an OST and it's a hit here back at home. Sehun's been busy with Chanyeol with producing for their next mixtape. Baekhyun and Minseok has been resting after CBX's comeback 2 months ago. Yixing's been busy with his new company in China. We're all doing fine here Jongin, I got them all under control." Junmyeon replies, he inherited his father's company after proving that he's able to handle it. Taking his friends under his wing and signing them under SM Entertainment.

"Well, uh, have you heard news about Kyungsoo? How is he?" Jongin asks reluctantly.

Junmyeon sighs, "Sorry, Jongin, I haven't heard from him since you suddenly left 2 years ago, I can't get a hold of him. We've all been trying to find him but it seems like he doesn't want to be found."

Kyungsoo is-was his boyfriend, they started off as friends with the rest of the boys but it led to something more. They were happy and content but then Jongin had to leave everyone, his friends, his family, and his Kyungsoo behind to pursue his career in the US. Nobody really knew of his plans to leave, only his family. But he insisted them to not tell his friends and Kyungsoo because he is too scared.

He doesn't even know why he got scared. His friends loved him, they're brothers from another mother. Has been with them since his teenage years, together during their happiest and lowest moments. They are each other's strongest support systems.

Maybe it's because he's broken his promise to stay together. The 9 of them promised that they'll stay together and achieve their dreams with each other at their side, and he's first one that broke that promise. He left to go to the other side of the world to pursue his dreams and yet he still feels bad doing it. When the others reached out to him after he left it felt even worse, he felt so selfish. After leaving with no proper goodbye, his friends still reached out to him, understood him despite his shortcomings as a friend.

“I shouldn’t have left, I shouldn’t have been so selfish. I really ruined everything, didn’t I Hyung?” Jongin blurts out after a while.

In the 2 years he’s been in New York, all that runs through his mind is Kyungsoo. How is he doing? Is he ok? Where is he? Jongin probably wouldn’t have endured the past 2 years if it wasn’t for Kyungsoo being his motivation.

“Don’t beat yourself up for leaving Jongin. We all understand, we are all so proud of what you have built for yourself. You wouldn’t be the man that you are now of you didn’t take the risk 2 years ago.” Junmyeon replies. “Kyungsoo is probably so proud of you right now, yeah what you did changed what you guys had. Kyungsoo definitely understands, out of all people he’s the one who saw all your struggles that led you to where you are right now.”

“All this fame and success really isn’t worth it when the person that keeps me going is gone.” Jongin replies. “I actually am thinking of going back home for good. I only have 5 months left in my exclusive contract here then I am free to go back to Korea. I’ll just fly back here whenever they need me.

“That’s great! Tell me when you plan on coming back and I’ll pick you up from the airport and arrange a place for you here.” Junmyeon says excitedly. “We miss you Jongin, we look forward to seeing you again.”

“Me too hyung, when I come back, lets go on a trip with the others. You know, for old times sake and we all need that break too.” Jongin says.

“I’ll tell the others when you already have booked your flight here. Don’t worry about anything else when you come back here, I’ll arrange their schedules so that we can all be free.” Junmyeon says cooly.

“Oooooh! As expected of you, Mr. CEO! I’ll call you soon Hyung, my schedule mellows down after all this fashion week stuff then we’ll plan my flight back home, alright?”

“Of course! You’ve got me excited Jongin, stay healthy and word hard Mr. Supermodel!”

Jongin looks at his phone in content after his call with Junmyeon. He really misses them, he misses home.

Maybe he’ll finally have the chance to make things right when he comes back home.


	2. 둘

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jongin’s not been in Seoul since 2018. Back when he left, it had been snowing too.

2020 July (a/n: covid isn’t a thing here lol)

Jongin’s in his Brooklyn Apartment, packing up his things because he is bound to go back home to Seoul for good. He’s looking forward to going back home to Korea after almost 3 years of living in New York. After his busy schedules surrounding New York Fashion Week and Paris Fashion Week, he has a few shoots for various brands and magazines before his management gave him a bit of downtime so that he can take care of the things he needs to do before leaving New York.

His 3-year exclusive contract to model and live in New York with Elite Models Management has already ended. Despite that, he still is part of Elite’s roster, but he is not required to live in New York anymore. In fact, Junmyeon, being the CEO of South Korea’s biggest entertainment company, has pulled some strings and managed to convince Elite Models to sign Jongin under SM Entertainment as well so that there will be someone to manage his schedules in Korea. Because Jongin has plans to also start dancing more alongside his modeling career. Thankfully, Elite Models was on board with Junmyeon’s proposal, because they will also benefit from this joint venture with SM. Jongin has become one of the industry’s most sought-after models after Elite Models signed him, they are not going to let him go just yet.

He looks around his Brooklyn Apartment, it was quite small, it had large windows that overlooks the stunning New York skyline. Over the past 3 years of him living in this apartment, he managed to make a home out of it. His vinyl collection and player that was once displayed in his living room, framed pictures of him with his friends back in Korea, most of belongings that made the small space home, was now packed in several suitcases. He is excited to finally go back home, but he is going to miss this apartment that he called home.

He is going to miss the rush that New York brings. His friends that he made along the way, his co-models that he often hangs out with, but he doesn’t feel sad to leave it all behind.

Because once he comes back to Korea, he is going to be with his family and his friends. Most importantly, he’s determined to find Kyungsoo and make things right.

***

2020 December

“Jongin! Over here!” Jongin hears Junmyeon voice yell out. He just landed at Incheon International Airport, fatigue coursing through his veins after an almost 15-hour flight from JFK. Thankfully, both Elite and SM Entertainment did not publicize his return to South Korea. So there are no paparazzis or media when he came out the airport.

He spots Junmyeon, who’s waving his arms frantically with a huge smile on his face. Jongin quickens his pace and approaches his friend who welcomes him with a hug.

“It’s been a long time Junmyeon Hyung, I missed you so much!” Jongin greets as he engulfs his friend in a warm hug.

Junmyeon hugs Jongin back tightly. “You’ve grown up so well in the 3 years you’ve been away, look at you! Where’s the baby bear that we last saw?” Junmyeon says as he looks at Jongin fondly. “Let’s get in the car, it’s cold out here.” The two went inside Junmyeon’s Range Rover SUV so they can be on their way to Jongin’s new place.

Junmyeon and Jongin are now driving to Jongin’s new place in Banpo-dong, Seoul. Thankfully, Junmyeon helped him find and arrange his new place months before he comes home so that there’s a place waiting for him all ready to live in. They contacted an interior designer that helped Jongin design his apartment, and an architect to layout the rooms in his 2,000 square feet Seoul Bachelor pad that can fit his needs and lifestyle. They all worked together while Jongin was still in New York.

Jongin really wanted to invest in his new home back in Seoul and make sure that it can be a space for him to relax and rest after a day of hectic schedules. He wants his new place to be his sanctuary, a place that he can just be Jongin, and not Kim Kai, a famous model. He’s excited to finally see his new place in person, he’s only seen his apartment through 3D model renderings made by the architect and the interior designer and a few videos and pictures from Junmyeon whenever he visits and checks up the place for him.

He designed his space with a “blank paper” concept in mind, outfitting the place in primarily monochrome fittings, like the sprawling grey couch that adorns his living room. (Which he’s especially excited to see, he picked it out himself because it looked so cozy.) His clothes and other belongings has also been shipped to Korea weeks before his flight because Junmyeon wanted Jongin’s return to Korea to be easy for him.

“Are you excited to see your new place?” Junmyeon asks Jongin after 5 minutes of driving. “Yeah, I’m looking forward to see the place, thank you so much for helping me move back home, hyung.” Jongin replies, he’s really grateful for Junmyeon for doing all of this for him. He wouldn’t have been able to move back to Korea this easily of it wasn’t for his friend.

“Don’t mention it, you know I’ll go to the ends just for you guys.” Junmyeon says with a bright smile.

“By the way, you’ll have a month from now to adjust and fully settle down here in Seoul before we can start your activities here in Korea. SM are now in the process of getting you schedules and looking at various love calls we’ve received from brands and magazines ever since we announced your return here. So basically, you’re all free until mid-January or so.” Junmyeon informs Jongin about his activities, “Though we will still call you for a few meetings during your free time to make sure you are aware of what’s going on.”

“Got that, by the way, when will we all go on a trip? You know, just like the old times.” Jongin asks the CEO, “Oh, yeah! I’ve rented an airbnb in Woljeongri Beach in Jeju, we’ll be flying out on the 28th and we’ll be staying there until the 3rd of January. We’ll be celebrating New Year’s there, just like the old times.” Junmyeon replies. Jongin nods as a response, suddenly remembering their tradition of being together to welcome the new year. All 9 of them has always promised that no matter how busy or occupied they are about their personal life, they make sure to spend the end of the year with each other. But now that he’s back, one of them will be missing. Kyungsoo will not be there with them to welcome the new year.

Jongin leaned on the car window, lost in his thoughts as he closes his eyes. After a few minutes, Junmyeon speaks excitedly, “It’s snowing! Jongin, look! It’s Korea’s first snow fall of the year, and it’s on the day you came back!”

Jongin opens his eyes and looks out the window. It is indeed, snowing. Snowflakes falling and it seems like it’s glittering. He remembers all the memories he shared with his friends, especially Kyungsoo, who gets exceptionally clingy during winter due to the cold. Life back then was simple. Now, everything has changed, and Jongin will now try to take back slowly what he’s missed and left now that he is back home.

Jongin’s not been in Seoul since 2018. Back when he left, it had been snowing too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i haven't updated this in so long, school has really been kicking my butt lately so updates will still be slow unfortunately!! i will try to work on this whenever i have time though!!
> 
> also this isn't really written well imo, lol i'm not used to writing long stories yet so this is a learning experience for me!!!
> 
> if you like it though, please let me know by leaving a comment! they will be appreciated <3
> 
> vegas

**Author's Note:**

> my first kaisoo fic! this won't be long because i'm not really that good in writing yet huhu, please let me know what you think by dropping a comment! i appreciate your feedback <3
> 
> -vegas


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